Which feet are Portuguese?

As the question of this publication, its content may be absurd as well. Anyway, something tells me that my social discoveries of the "West" (eventhough very personal), shouldn't be kept just for myself.

People often ask me: "What is your opinion about the Portuguese?" Please, not this question again! At this point two things crash into each other. Knowing that each individual is unique and irreplacable and that because of this we can't make so banal genaralizations, and on the other hand the fact, justified by the simple everyday life - that however, there are cultural patterns that have conglutinated inside human personalities and are now seen as some sort of common social ways of behavior and practise.
Portugal has long been in the claws of dictatorship, long has been pushed outward to the edge of the ocean, that is why Europe's influence here has not reached such a power, as for example in more centrally positioned European countries. Turbulent history, from its see-adventures, physical distance and isolation through to the impact of Roman Catholic Church, has certainly left a deep mark in treatment of human relations, ways of behaviour, etc..
If two years ago I had beed asked what do I think of Portuguese, I would have droped the idea of comparison with the Balkan or Mediterranean nations; the people who say what they feel, the people who give all what they can to the others, which are temperamental, simple, direct. Well, today I do not think like that anymore.
Not because almost everybody pays a drink for himself, because the immediacy and temperament reveal, more than anywhere else, during the collective spactation of footbal match(I am already shaking from this terrible generalization, but otherwise it doesn't go) but more than all this, because of one collective pattern that surprises me so much and which I still can not figure out completely: "Duality and discreetness of personality" - how the Portuguese warmth and openness is so obviously shown outwards, but not inwards. In other words, how they can be so warm outside, but so unready to share their intimacy? Let me explain by example that it is very obvious.
When friends meet, they usually exchange a lot of nice words and make effort that their conversation (with the lightweight issues) runs in the direction that will create good feelings. If this is a male-female acquaintance or female-female one, mandatory sign of greeting (no exceptions) is a kiss (or two kisses - on each cheek one). When it comes to men's ties, ofcourse kisses are expected to be replaced with handling. Thus, at first glance this country appears to be smelling of love and compassion. But the smell soon fades, when we notice the other side, which co-creates the state of duality - a sort of shabbiness or precaution in sharing intimacy. To pursue a practical example; the friends, of which i have spoken before, want to maintain friendly conversation and a smile on the face even when it is necessary to approach things differently. For example, when a friend is to be noted of things that he does bad, when we want to speak out important things, which we feel bad about, etc.. In such cases, the moments of grace and kindness just make the job harder, since important issue (finding) requires a degree of seriousness (even inevitability) in order to achieve its purpose. Here, one can not find this seriousness too often. Even family ties (those, which I had the opportunity to meet) all too often host this very dualism and seem to be losing some of the depth and intimacy. The intimacy (touching the love life, sexuality, perception of the world, etc..) is even more limited speech within the relationships between parents and children. Even a warm hug is often replaced by conventional two kisses or handshake. Thus even a cold-blooded Slovenian (if he is not really too Slovenian) could feel like a photo negative of the Portuguese here - colder outwards (apparently), and more direct when it comes to human relationships .
How was this dualism created? Why are so many people afraid to face eye to eye? They can not deal with reaction? They are taught that the reaction should be always good, that they should always attract a smile? Don't they know that the immediacy is the shortest path to happiness for both individuals? Why this enormous "Caution"? Can the reasons be dangerous history of conquerors, terrifying dictatorship, the church with its lessons of humility and sinfulness, politics, (un)culture of media? Who knows. Probably a little bit of everything ...

Ultimately, however, I must not forget that the Portugal is the place, where I found people that have grown closest to my heart. So, once more, I am back, where I started, with the absurd question about the feet ...:)





p.s.: There is no Portuguese feet in the picture, there are two Slovenian and one German. But it's true that (not long ago) all three were wading in the big Portuguese see. :)